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Silverman, Ph D, says if you're in an abusive relationship, deception isn't the best way to deal with it.Get help first from a trusted friend, family member, therapist or one of the numerous nationwide resources instead."In our community, I always felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole." That year, she was in Chicago on business and met Bob, an Australian man, on an elevator. We exchanged numbers, kept in touch, and I decided to fly out to Australia to see him and get him out of my system," she says."Instead, I fell in love." She left everything she knew—her hometown, her husband, her job and her country—to start her life over with Bob in Australia.

"Gary was totally consumed and exhausted by his work—there was nothing left for me," she says.When Vanessa Myers*, 28, married her husband six years ago, they both couldn't wait to have children, but after their wedding day something changed for her."I started to really love my job, and kids didn't seem to fit into the picture," she says."Healthy relationships grow and evolve, and feeling bored is a symptom of relationship stagnation.Rather than having an affair, increase the romance, change habitual patterns within the relationship and communicate more about your feelings and needs." If you just need a change of pace, try booking an exotic vacation with your husband or girlfriends, or discuss moving to a new city and starting over.

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