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Instead, filter for qualities of character — like honesty, communication, effort, follow-through — that your younger, campus-age self might have ignored.

The sex-driven culture on campus often leaves the majority of young people feeling unsatisfied with their relationships, and doesn’t exactly exist in a vacuum; it sets the stage for intimacy and dating after college, too.Most of the men and women I’ve talked to also have a significant undercurrent of emotion running through their relationships, too, although that emotion might present differently. While men certainly know how they feel, most of them haven’t been raised to show how they feel.From the time we’re children, for instance, marriage researcher John Gottman, Ph D, explains how even play time can tie to long-ranging relationship-building tools like conflict resolution and emotional understanding.Women might misinterpret certain things, or get things wrong.”This is perhaps the most important tool in your relationship-building kit: Start conversations; stop assuming.If you want to know something that you’re unsure about, like if he’s open to a relationship or what he wants from socialized to start those emotional discussions more effectively. Don’t assume that actions are the same as intentions.

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