Being too accommodating in a relationship
Let’s say that your colleague is trying to outdo you to get a promotion and they are spreading rumours about you. It is not helpful to be cruel, demeaning, rude, bitchy, bossy, bullying, spiteful, hurtful, horrible, selfish, and vengeful.
I don’t have the answer, but following Buddha’s advice, I would keep my mouth shut and not say a word and let the scenario play itself out.
I usually get caught up in my own stuff and react and stress and fight.
But once the dust has settled, I ask myself, does it really matter?
She wants her "space" so this week we met only once for dinner, and in two occasions at a couple of get together with friends but in this later case during the party she did not even speak to me as she does not want to "lose" the other friendsthis did no happen before... yesterday I actually pushed her about this ( involuntarily i guess, just asking explanations, not trying to change her mind) she got very angry and left, I sent her a very needy message that I regret and the answer I got was that I was trying to make her feel guilty and that I cannot accept a 'no' as an answer.so, opinions? Not really sure of what she wants: You have the qualities she finds attractive, but maybe it's the wrong time or place for the situation.
There were many times I felt badly hurt and neglected and ignored. The whole new age movement is all for cutting people who don’t add to your happiness or success. Many life coaches, positive thinking representatives and personal growth guru’s are quite clear about how negative people drag you down. But yet there is that niggling at the back of my mind which has a problem with this approach. I believe that the people in my life are there for a reason.
Perhaps to teach me something about myself or for me to teach them something about themselves.
I think it would have been better off if I had ended it much earlier and moved on. My natural inclination was to let the friendship fade away, but after careful consideration, i confronted her and we sorted it out. If it is not truthful and not helpful, don’t say it. Often we say this or that is what upsets us, but actually it is something far deeper.
For example, you are arguing with your spouse about them being selfish supporting this with certain events that have happened and their behaviour.